"A Future Not Our Own."

I've had a stressful week. St. Michael's launched it's VBS on Tuesday. It ran Tuesday, Wednesday (today) and Thursday (tomorrow) is it's last day. Unfortunatley last minute, one of my parishioners who had a lot to do with the planning of the VBS had to leave town to go to the city for a required training event for something she is involved in later this summer. I was quite worried about it, mainly because I've never led VBS before, and didn't know the first thing about it. And when my parishioner had suggested the VBS I said absolutely and told her I would be happy to support her and help her with the ministry and I would encourage the congregation to offer their gifts during this time. So I was really stressed and upset on Monday as I tried to plan stuff to do for the VBS after she had left. (Her phone call came really last minute, and didn't give us time to chat before she left - it was no ones' fault, life happens and choices needed to be made.) So I sucked it up and prayed for the best. Tuesday arrived and so did 21 children from the area. And then Wednesday arrived with 35 children! I was the only adult there, which dissappointed me, I was hoping for some support from the congregation members. However, over the last couple of days, I've been so encouraged by the children, particularly some of the older children, who have come to VBS. I've taken the opportunity to designate the older children to be more counsellor types for VBS rather than participants. I have given them a lot of responsibility that they have embraced and done with so much joy and excitement. I ask them to help me out throughout the morning either with handing out paint brushes, or leading a outside game, or helping to organize the lee ones or handing out snacks during snack time. They have really embraced the leadership opportunities that have been given to them, and I have been so thankful for their willingness to sacrifice doing crafts and getting snack first, to help me with the lee ones!!

After doing some reflecting this summer (particularly the last couple of days), I'm very aware that 1) I have a huge desire to see the results of my minsitry and 2) I don't want my ministry to fail and disappoint people. I like to know that what I'm doing has made a difference and I tend to want to see it accomplished. At the same time, I'm aware that I'm not always going to see the results of my ministry and that there are a lot of different stages in ministry and evangelism. I need to be open to the reality that not all of the ministries that I'm invovled in are going to pan out the way I envision. (I forget these two points about ministry a lot, and need to remind myself that I need to trust that God will continue to nurture the ministry that I'm involved in). Our gifts are going to nurture the communities that we serve in ways that other peoples strengths and gifts won't. I need to allow God to use my strengths and gifts in those ministries, even when I'm scared or hesitant. Just becasue I don't see the results doesn't mean that God is not going to use what I have offered and just because I'm scared, nervous, or uncomfortable doesn't mean that God isn't going to use me to share the gospel.

A dear friend of mine sent me a care package with a book entitled "The Secret Message of Jesus." (Good book!!!) I was struck by a poem that is included in the Afterword that I have been finding myself to be reading regularly....okay.....daily (this week) as it is a great reminder of my ministry and my desire to want to see results and the reality that I'm not always going to see them.

"A Future Not Our Own"

It helps, now and then, to step back
and take the long view.
The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts,
it is beyond our vision.

We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of
the magnificent enterprise that is God's work.
Nothing we do is complete,
which is another way of saying
that the kingdom always lies beyond us.

No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection...
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.

This is what we are about:
We plant seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted,
knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces effects beyond our capabilities.

We cannot do everything
and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something,
and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is the beginning, a step along the way,
an opportunity for God's grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results...
We are prophets of a future not our own.

- Archbishop Oscar Romero

A wise young priest told me the other day "you only have to worry about pleasing and honoring one person." I've tried to embrace this over the last few days and need to remind myself of this when I start to worry about disappointing people. It's a challenge but with time and continued ministry experiences, opportunities and prayer, I'm sure this will eventually engrain itself in my head!

Please continue to pray for the children in Mango Creek. They are thristy for the gospel, they have brought so much joy to my life and the lives of the community here. It's been such a joy and blessing to have 55 of them come through the doors of St. Michael's - this number will definitley go up after tomorrow :)